


The Filled Space Between

by basil_ton



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Breathplay, Dry Humping, Exhibitionism, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Grinding, Hair-pulling, Kissing, Light Masochism, Light Sadism, Light breathplay, Masochism, Sadism, Smut, also the title is probably bad because this fic is word vomit, light exhibitionism, lmao ye a h, man this is my first time writing smut, oh wait i forgot a tag lol, so like yeah, there isnt enough gender nonspecific fics out there for the arcana so like have this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 15:08:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13390443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basil_ton/pseuds/basil_ton
Summary: “You’re letting me do this to you. What happened to whiny, dramatic Julian?”Julian lifted his brows, laughing at their comment, before grinning devilishly and leaning forward. He gripped their shoulders, sending them backwards and pinning them between his body and the bed in one swift movement. He leaned down toward them, nipping at their ear daringly and turning to whisper something to them.“I’d let you do so much more.”-yep so I tried to incorporate plot into this and basically what happen is. you've got this vanilla ice cream right, and like, nobody likes that shit, it's too fuckin sweet, so lets fuckin throw that shit in a blender with some dark chocolate?? youre fucking wrong you just put coal in the fucking blender you idiot do you even know what chocolate fucking is oh my god





	The Filled Space Between

**Author's Note:**

> rip

     Julian’s gloved hand clenched, leather creaking as his fist grew tighter. With one hand, he dug the tips of his fingers into his palm in frustration, the other rhythmically tapping at his desk in annoyance. The thin barrier of leather prevented his nails from piercing his skin, the way he so desperately needed it, to keep him grounded to reality and away from the thoughts that clouded his mind. He leaned forward, and a sudden shift of his elbow against the surface created a sharp, stinging feeling to shoot up his forearm. He jolted his hand backwards, gripping his palm tightly, eyebrows knit together in a soft grimace at the pain which soon subsided. He gulped, staring down into his lap. Julian’s thoughts trailed, small flashes of memories of the apprentice appearing behind his eyelids. He had not anticipated to be exposed so vulnerable to Asra’s apprentice, at least not so soon. Julian’s eyes fluttered, remembering their palm pressing into the wound _ever so slightly_ , enough to send jolts of pleasantly painful electricity to trail up his side. He winced at the thought of himself falling apart so easily in front of someone who had probably judged him, tightly seizing their shoulders as though they were Julian’s lifeline.

     Julian admitted to himself that he found the magician visually appealing; someone who would be a rare catch to his eye. He wouldn’t mind spending more time with them, but after presenting himself the way he did after the incident in the garden, he can’t help but think about anything other than wanting...more. He couldn’t let go. The one thing that made him fall apart beneath their fingertips is that Julian could tell-- somewhere in the back of their mind, they _liked_ it. Another pang of memory hit him, and he had to stake a steady breath to collect himself.

-

The apprentice, pressing into his wound and staring intently into the doctor’s eyes, seeing the _desperation_ that shook through his body as the pain grew sharper. Noticing his body quake as each spark of electricity shot from the gash to his head, his heart, and his groin. The way Julian bucked himself forward gently into their palm trying to apply just the right amount of pressure, just in the right spot. His feverishness at the burning touch of their fingertips, trailing their way up from his pinned hips, feathering up his expanding throat before gripping his jaw and snapping Julian’s head to face them. Their eyes bore into his own, pupils dilating with a small, repressed cloud of lust. He let out a soft groan through a pair of parted lips at the magician’s next statement.

 

_“Do you like the pain?”_

 

Julian hesitated, panting lightly as he focused on everywhere they moved their hands. Were they..teasing him? He inhaled gently, breath shaky. He felt a pool of heat begin to form in his navel, becoming warmer the lower their hands traveled.

_-_

 

He snapped open his eyes, trying to deny what he craved from them. Julian’s cheeks bloomed with a deep red as he look at his disheveled appearance in the mirror. Everything felt warm and unsteady, every exposed part of skin burning for some sort of relieving _touch._ He gulped, thinking of the way their hands felt traveling about his abdomen and throat. Their hands were delicate, yet demanding, toying with the want that radiated from his body and pulling at the reactions he began to deliver. A shiver ran down Julian’s spine at the thought of what the magician could make him _do._ He knew that they were powerful, but what sort of power could they have over _him_?

Julian’s fingers clenched around the edge of his vanity. He swiftly shook his head and let out an audible grunt to dismiss his imagination. With a shaky breath, he looked up again, running a hand through his hair and fanning himself to relieve his burning cheeks and make his complexion somewhat more decent than it was.

     A familiar scent lingered throughout the household-- Mazelinka’s doing. Julian had not noticed how hungry he was until the aroma wafted its way into his room, suddenly distracting him from the pile of notes he had been taking. His knuckles ached, flexing becoming difficult with the constant machine-like writing he had been performing. He leaned back in his small chair, sighing heavily as he looked up at the ceiling, eyes half lidded. He didn’t realize how exhausted he was, either. His eyes closed, until a soft knock at his door woke him for his daydreaming. Julian stood, shirt getting caught on a splinter in the lip of his chair. He stumble clumsily toward the door, trying to let his shirt go. When the chair finally came free, he fell towards the door, stopping himself from falling by slamming a hand into the wall. He cleared his throat again, and brushed the front of his shirt down as a warmth spread across his cheeks before opening the door.

Julian’s breath caught in his throat as he came into eye contact with the apprentice. He hadn’t expected them to show up to _him,_ especially after the garden encounter. Neither of them spoke, but their eyes continued to stare at each other blankly. Julian could not tell what they were thinking behind their eyes, but by the way their shoulders rose after coming face to face with Julian, he knew they were thinking a thousand things. Julian gulped, averting his eyes quickly to the side, catching a glimpse of Mazelinka in the kitchen. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the apprentice’s shoulders relax again and heard a sigh of relief escape them.

 

“I..last time I was here, Mazelinka invited me to stay for dinner again. I thought that maybe I could stay tonight?” It felt good hearing he magician’s voice again, in a real way.

 

A smile crept its way onto Julian's face again.

 

“Of course. Forgive me if I seem distracted, I’ve just been working a lot tonight. I’m tired,” Julian responded. He could feel his voice drop an octave in exhaustion. He needed rest, but he couldn’t seem to stand any moment away from them. This was someone who he genuinely cared for, for the first time since-

 

“Thank you, Julian.”

 

Julian suddenly perked after hearing them speak again. He put a hand on their shoulder after their praise, and the bare skin of their shoulder seeped warmth through his leather gloves as he guided them to the kitchen. The apprentice looked at him again, smiling softly. A small laugh reverberated from Julian’s chest as he returned the gaze.

-

          Julian slipped out of his slacks and dress shirt and pulled on a thin black robe. The material was light, allowing chill breezes to envelop his body. His hair stood on end and goosebumps littered his skin. He made his way to the closet to wear his coat around the house before bed, but paused before pulling his coat out of the closet. A bright blue was peeking out of Julian’s left pocket, easily visible against the black and dark red of the fabric. He reached into the pocket and pulled out the deadly blue flower. It no longer possessed the same bright glow that it once had in the garden. He lifted a petal with the tip of his finger, feeling the soft, silk like texture as his finger lingered for a moment, tracing the designs that decorated both sides of the deadly starstrand. He tried not to hold the flower too long without his gloves, as the flower still remained poisonous, even after wilting slightly-- being stuffed in the pocket. Julian brought the flower to his face, inhaling the bittersweet scent into his lungs.

 

     Julian heard a soft rapping at the door, drawing his attention away from the flower. He placed the lily on the edge of the bed before moving towards the door to his room. He peered through a crack in the door, before swinging it open fully for the magician. When they saw Jules, they drew a hand up to cover their mouth and cheeks before apologizing quickly.

 

“I’m sorry! I didn’t know you were going to sleep-”

 

“It’s fine. I got distracted anyway. Do you...do you  need to come in?”

 

They stood up on their toes to peer behind Julian’s shoulder, into his room before shrinking back down onto their heels.

 

“Are you okay with me sleeping here?” Their gaze averted from Julian and onto the floor. Their night robes were touching the floor, collecting dust along the golden trim.

 

“You don’t have anything to worry about. I don’t bite.”

 

The magician looked up at Julian with a raised brow before squeezing past him and into the room. They quickly noticed the bright blue flower, still sitting on the bed.

 

“Is that the starstrand? From the statue garden?”

 

“It is.”

 

“You kept it?” They brushed a strand of hair from their face, tucking it behind their ear.

 

Julian inhaled deeply before speaking again.

 

“It’s...it’s a memory. However, it’s probably going to die soon. The color is dulling.”

 

“Unfortunate,” they said, before reaching into their bag, which was hung on a post at the headboard of Julian’s bed. They pulled out a small empty bottle with a ribbon tied around the neck.

 

“I’d kept this in my bag for herbs, but I think the flower may need it more than I do.” They placed the bottle on Julian’s vanity then closed their eyes. They held a palm above the opening of the bottle. When they clench their fist, water spilled into the bottle, some drops missing the entrance and rolling off the lip. Julian was impressed. It wasn’t a profound act but it was still _magic_.

 

They picked up the flower by the stem, avoiding the dangerous petals. The starstrand was then place into the bottle, immediately illuminating when it finally got water.

 

“It won’t live forever like this, but at least you’ll have it for a while longer,” they smiled softly at him, and Julian’s heart jumped gently.

 

“Why keep something so deadly?”

 

“It will only hurt you if you want it to...and it’s still beautiful.”

 

“A beautiful memory…..isn’t it?” Julian stumbled over his words. He wanted to say more to the apprentice, but was unsure of how to form his sentences.

 

“If you call getting bit by a leech and running from guards beautiful, then sure. It’s beautiful,” they laughed quietly to themselves. They were so admirable, he loved the way that they glowed in the lighting, and how they lit up more when they laughed or smiled. This was someone who was different to Jules. Not judgemental, not an ally, but a _friend_. A friend who Julian hoped for more with. They were staring at him, wide-eyed at Julian’s focused expression.

 

“Jules?”

 

The doctor woke from his trance and spoke softly and quickly, without thinking.

 

“You’re different,” he blurted out.

 

The apprentice approached Julian slowly, a questioning look in their eyes.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Julian suddenly was at a loss for words. He was never good at explaining himself, or his feelings, but this was something he needed to share with them.

 

“You’re not...afraid of me. Or disgusted by what I may have done. Why are you staying with me? I couldn’t keep anyone. Not Portia...or Asra,” Julian shuffled his feet closer together, inhaling before looking up at the magician again. They stood in front of him, no longer confused or reluctant. Julian admitted he was still nervous about this, he hadn’t anticipated this conversation with them _now_. Or, maybe he did.

     Julian clasped the their palms and sat down on the edge of the bed with them. He had never opened up to someone like this before, and was unsure of how he wanted to form his words. His shoulders tensed at the sudden anxiety. The apprentice seemed to notice this, and placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed his hand with the other.

 

“I don’t need to be afraid around you. I always tried to push people away, thinking I was a source of misery, looking down upon myself like that. But, when you  showed up,  it’s like I had to take down that barrier- didn’t have to put up any walls for you. I’m...sorry I didn’t see that you were trying to help me before, I was just being selfish.”

 

They were staring wide-eyed at him, no longer touching Julian.

 

“Sorry. For being so sudden. I know we’ve only known each other for a few weeks now, but I-”

 

His sentence was cut short when they threw themselves at him in a hug, squeezing his upper body and burying their head in the crook of their neck.  They didn’t come up to look at him, they spoke into his collar, voice muffled by his shoulder.

 

“Thank you for opening up to me. I know it’s hard thing for you to do, and I feel…..I’m happy to be trusted. By you,” they laughed once quietly under their breath. Julian could feel their smile against his neck.

 

“Thank you, Ilya.”

 

Julian bunched his fist in the thin yellow fabric behind the apprentice’s back, then laced his other hand in their hair. For once in his life he felt safe in someone else’s arms. This is what home should feel like. It should feel like...them. Julian pulled away from  the hug, and looked down at the apprentice.

 

     In their embrace, their hand trailed up from the small of Julian’s back, to the nape of his neck before lacing their fingers through his thick red curls. They pulled gently against his scalp, drawing his head back enough to see his whole face before quickly pressing a kiss to his parted lips. Julian was shocked, and drew in a sharp breath through his nose at the unexpected contact. They opened their eyes slightly to Julian, who had his eyes tightly shut. They smiled into the kiss, this time closing their eyes and treasuring the warmth that enveloped their bodies. Julian’s heart was pounding; somewhere in the back of his mind, he had been waiting for this moment, to express his affection for the apprentice in just the right way. Now, they were _here,_ and it was just the two of them, exchanging soft kisses and feathery touches. Jules could feel every inch of their body against his own, and everything he was _feeling_ sent sparks straight into his chest. The pair broke away from each other for air, and stared at each other, still entangling their limbs and pressing themselves together. There was no need for words, there was something intimate about the silence that they shared. Julian laughed breathlessly, and the apprentice rest their forehead against his chest. They broke the silence.   
  
“This seems unreal to me,” they said.

 

“This?” Julian was wide eyed, looking curiously at the magician. He thought maybe he had done something wrong.

 

“You’re _letting_ me do this to you. What happened to whiny, dramatic Julian?”

 

Julian lifted his brows, laughing at their comment, before grinning devilishly and leaning forward. He gripped their shoulders, sending them backwards and pinning them between his body and the bed in one swift movement. He leaned down toward them, nipping at their ear daringly and turning to whisper something to them.  
  
_“I’d let you do so much more.”_   
_  
_     Suddenly, the air in the room shifted, becoming heavy like extra weight on their bodies, sprawled out across each other in the thin sheets. Everything felt warm, and the heat spiked again when the magician tilted upwards to capture Julian’s lips again, this time more urgent, and heated, chasing after every movement with fever and _passion_ , catching their breath through sharp gasps and pant’s between every movement. Their feelings were both amplified now, screaming their desire for each other through searing touches and gasps and-- fuck. When Julian pulled away for air, his body was already slack, pressing into their body and pinning them to the bed. He groaned, seeing them laid out beneath him so royally, blush spreading down from their face to their chest, eyes half lidded and wanting. The intense staring made the tension between them grow tighter, waiting for one of them to snap. It was when Julian grinned that the apprentice quickly snapped upwards, pressing a kiss to Julian’s face before trailing downwards beneath his jaw, nipping and biting along his neck, down to the tender spot between his shoulder in collarbone. They stalled there, laying open-mouthed kisses to his throat while they gripped Jules by the hips, trying to pull them closer towards him. Julian keened, a moan catching in his throat when they suddenly dragged their teeth across the spot, sparks running down his spine, pooling into his gut. He wrapped an arm around them, grabbing their thigh and turning around, so they were now on top of him, straddling his hips and bunching the sheets beside his head, where their fists lay just beside him. Julian gripped the back of their head, pulling it back and planting a hot kiss onto their collarbone, and grabbing their palm in his other hand, encouraging them to feel his chest beneath his robe.

    The apprentice noticed this, and slid their hand beneath the thin robe that covered him. They slid the fabric off of his shoulders slowly, feeling the glide of their fingers across his skin. When the robe was off, Julian did the same, teasing his fingers beneath the hem of their shirt, gently raking his nails across their waistline before sliding the shirt up, and off of their body. They shifted their position so they were sitting up, and Julian sat across from them, knees making contact with theirs. He leaned forward, continuing his kisses across the apprentices body, traveling lower, over their bare chest and stomach, leaving a tingling trail of kisses into their navel. He looked up at them with half lidded and heavy eyes, while hooking a finger into the belt of their pants. At this, they gasped and grabbed Julian by the hair, yanking him backwards until he was staring directly up at them. He gasped sharply through his teeth,and a strangled moan followed soon after. The action sent sent the blood rushing southward, the assertiveness of the magician tightening his gut, making his body only _crave_ and _want_. He bucked his hips once, and they spoke cooly.

 

“Not yet.”

 

Julian’s expression suddenly went soft, thinking he made a mistake. The apprentice reassuringly squeezed his shoulder, smiling.

 

“Soon,” and they planted a kiss to his forehead before releasing the back of his head.

 

    Jules immediately sat upward again, this time onto his knees, spread out to the width of his shoulders. They grinned playfully, biting their lip and moving so their knee was now between Julian’s. He let out a shaky breath, and gasped when the magician resumed work on his collarbone, leaving purple marks to scatter his pale skin. He moaned in desperation, attempting to buck his hips into the apprentice to get _any_ sort of friction, his body quaking with heat and pleasure. They resisted, slipping their arms around him and digging their nails into his lower back, only spiking Julian’s pleasure as he rocked into the touch. They smiled into Julian’s neck before pressing their knee into his crotch, sending a jolt of pleasure throughout his body. He let out a choked noise, heart racing before the magician slapped a hand over his mouth, silencing him. Their other hand wrapped around the base of his neck, squeezing gently and pushing him onto his back. Julian keened at the tightening feeling building in his lungs, and the hot touch of their fingers around his throat left him dazed. He followed their gaze, staring out a crack that was left in the door. Keys jingled as Mazelinka walked by his room, who didn’t seem to notice that the two were in there. They continued to grind into him, moans catching at the back of his throat while his heart raced at the fear of being caught. It made him feel daring, and trailed one of his hands down the apprentice’s side and onto their back, encouraging them to move _harder_ . They suddenly turned towards him again, cocking one of their eyebrows as Julian narrowed his heavy eyes at them. They giggled, slipping a finger into the seam of his trousers, undoing the top button and sliding them off of his legs, suddenly breaking contact with his groin. He whined at the loss of friction, but the feeling soon subsided when Julian heard the sound of the front door, meaning Mazelinka has slipped out. They turned towards him again, slipping their hands into Jules’ undergarment, teasing a finger around the base of him.   
  
“All to ourselves,” they drawled, “you can be as _loud_ as you want. And I can do _whatever_ I want to you,” they wrapped their hand around his shaft to punctuate their sentence.   


     He let out an elongated breath, that turned into a groan when he noticed them begin to slip off their shorts. The lighting hit them perfectly, accentuating the gentle curves and edges of their body. Julian brought up a pair of shaking hands and traced them, left breathless and mesmerized. The longer they touched each other, the more the electricity sparked between them. Julian couldn’t tell if the magician was _literally_ burning, or if his body craved their touch so badly that his nerves amplified every searing caress along his abdomen. They planted their lips against Julian’s, and they were suddenly moving together, heaving and panting between each roll of their hips, clawing at each others skin like lifelines. The feeling of bare skin against his member sent waves of heat into his gut, familiar tension building in his abdomen. He moaned at the back of his throat, purring into their ear as he sat up quickly, grabbing the apprentice by their hips and flipping their position around so that their hips were now pinned beneath Julian as he relentlessly rocked into them, breathing into their neck as he moved harder, pupils blown wide with lust as he lost himself to the feeling of desire. The apprentice moved their hands up to his hair, tugging gently to keep themselves grounded as he drove their hips into each other, friction building up to their orgasm faster than they could handle. They rocked up into him, drawing their name out of Julian’s throat with a moan. Hearing their name made their eyes snap shut, clinging onto him as their release came crashing over them, making their body shake beneath Julian, still pinned by his body weight.

    He continued to grind his hips into the apprentice, and their overstimulation drew throaty whines out of them. The sound of them falling apart made Julian move faster, and the tension that rest in his navel was threatening to snap. They stopped moving against him, and he tightened his grip on their waist and ground down into them. The sound of them moaning his name created a feeling that would forever resonate with him.  


_“Ilya.”_

 

     Julian was coming undone now, spilling into the magician’s torso as they trailed their fingers along the ridges of his body, carrying him through his orgasm. They were pressing their foreheads together, exchanging breaths as their lips barely grazed each other. The heat still burned between them when Julian came down, and their lips met, this time in _love_ , the rest of the room fading away until it was just the two of them again in that moment, bodies fitting together perfectly as they stared at each other with sleepy eyes.

 

He rolled off of them, arm still resting over their hips, drawing lazy circles onto their skin. He nuzzled his face into their chest, taking in the warmth that lay between them. He felt their hair tickle his forehead when they looked down at him, mumbling something that sounded like ‘ _I love you’_ under their breath. Before he knew it, Julian was _crying_ , for the first time in what seemed like forever. This time, though, the gentle tears were ones of happiness, and he felt each drop in his chest. He was glad that the first time he cried in front of the apprentice was because he loved them, and not because he was being selfish.

 

They pulled away from him, so they were eye level to each other. The magician reached down, pulling the blankets over the two of them, and huddled close to Julian.  


“You can’t be sorry for anything anymore. Not now, not ever. Or selfish. Everything about you is perfect, and I will always be here to help you see that in yourself.”  


“I love you,” the words spilled out of his mouth and directly into the apprentice’s heart. They smiled, pressing a peck on the corner of his mouth as he smiled.

 

For once, he knew everything was going to turn out alright.

**Author's Note:**

> double rip


End file.
